Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor want
I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. "Dude who is attacking me - come a little closer!"
funny food humor
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
funny crazy humor
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
ducks bread opinion
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
funny humor purple
When it comes to racism, you hear people say, "I don't care if people are white, black, purple or green." Hold on, now, purple or green? Come on now, you gotta draw the line somewhere.
funny sex humor
I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
funny humor want
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.
funny sorry humor
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
funny witty laughter
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
funny humor way
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
funny leadership sarcastic
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
funny humor fancy
Pepperidge Farm bread. That's fancy bread. You can tell it's fancy because it's wrapped twice. You open it, and it still isn't open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need another step between me and toast.
funny humor four
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard. The mailman will get shot, the envelope will not seal, the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. The final payment must be made in wampum.
funny humor glasses
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.