Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
funny cocky humor
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
funny humor missing
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.
funny humor shaving
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
funny humor comedy
I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
funny humor kids
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
eye people bologna
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
funny humor pieces
Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.
love guy drug
I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
wall doors your-side
I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry 'cause I like loud music... so when he knocked on the wall, I'd mess with his head. I'd say Go around I cannot open the wall I dunno if you have a door on your side but over here there's nothin'. It's just flat.
together
Mitch”, but then reattach it and call it “Mitch-all-together.
fall night clothes
Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.
ants grows farms
I got an ant farm; them fellas didn't grow sh*t.
necklaces upside-down let-me
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.
sleep bags tortillas
A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.