Mason Cooley
Mason Cooley
Mason Cooleywas an American aphorist known for his witty aphorisms. One of these such aphorisms Cooley developed was "The time I kill is killing me."...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionWriter
CountryUnited States of America
cat thinking noses
The banker rubs his nose, thinking of his cat stalking something on the lawn.
boredom neurosis cures
Boredom is the only sure cure for neurosis.
giving illusion enjoy
A neurotic can neither enjoy his illusions nor give them up.
neurosis virtue parody
The neuroses parody the virtues.
ambition successful careers
My ambition in life: to become successful enough to resume my career as a neurasthenic.
oatmeal alcohol dieting
I am forbidden sugar, fat, and alcohol. So hooray, I guess, for oatmeal, lemon juice, and chicken soup.
weight dieting fats
Until I am ready to lose weight, I cannot see how fat I am.
book reading dieting
I alternate between reading cook books and reading diet books.
people consistency suffering
Inconsistency has been overpraised by people who do not expect to suffer from it.
dream men horny
Discontented women dream of being rescued by Prince Charming. Discontented men dream of finding a horny blond in the back seat ofa taxi.
trouble nobody-knows knows
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen: even less, the trouble I've successfully avoided.
gone trouble
Our troubles keep us going.
trouble
More are weakened than strengthened by their troubles.
riches poverty poor
The rich are never as possessed by their riches as the poor are by their poverty.