Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
difference money skin takes tax
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin
house taxes profanity
I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.
country prayer taxation
I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.
funny fine taxes
A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
people friendly taxation
I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
certainty-of-death certainty-in-life taxes
The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
learning trouble wages
What's the use you learning to do right, when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
against dog home mama pack time trunk turns wife
When a man's dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama
convict conviction known man people settled
When a man is known to have no settled convictions of his own he can't convict other people
advertises brings fig leaf modesty statue suspicion
The statue that advertises its modesty with a fig leaf really brings its modesty under suspicion
christian nations spite
The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive, but in spite of their religion, not because of it
editor excellent meddle needs perfect political serve shall term
I shall not often meddle with politics, because we have a political Editor who is already excellent and only needs to serve a term or two in the penitentiary to be perfect
generalize sample single stop
The world will not stop and think- it never does, it is not its way; its way is to generalize from a single sample
building hold insane people run sane shut tried
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials.