Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
boys fifty girls lived next saw
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old. You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
exist funny hardly kings knights practical romantic soul
Mardi Gras is a thing which could hardly exist in the practical North. For the soul of it is the romantic, not the funny and the grotesque. Take away the romantic mysteries, the kings and knights and big-sounding titles, and Mardi-Gras would die, down there in the South.
america benevolent buried burned destroyed dozens exile furnished god heartbreak millions mine name orphans phrase pious remaining thousands turned widows
We have pacified some thousands of the islanders and buried them; destroyed their fields; burned their villages, and turned their widows and orphans out-of-doors; furnished heartbreak by exile to some dozens of disagreeable patriots; subjugated the remaining 10 millions by Benevolent Assimilation, which is the pious new name of the musket. And so, by these Providences of God -- and the phrase is the government's, not mine -- we are a World Power.
deal facts ourselves
We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves
benefit ourselves whose
We do no benevolences whose first benefit is not for ourselves
class criminal except facts figures shown
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
fortune freedom god three wisdom
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
appear mouth open remove shut stupid
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
deserve honors
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
common courage curious moral physical rare
It is curious - curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare
difference horse opinion opinions
It is difference of opinion that makes horse races.
american-author creature god man work
Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
gets mind patches result together
Man's mind clumsily and tediously and laboriously patches little trivialities together and gets a result - such as it is
dead entire genuinely honest ought people selves start until
We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead / and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead and then they would be honest so much earlier.