Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
sex young young-ladies
In German, a young lady has no sex, but a turnip has
funny sarcastic sex
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
sex pregnancy heart
The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse with the other sex sexually, at any time of life. During twenty-three days in every month (in the absence of pregnancy) from the time a woman is seven years old till she dies of old age, she is ready for action, and competent. As competent as the candlestick is to receive the candle. Competent every day, competent every night. Also, she wants that candle -- yearns for it, longs for it, hankers after it, as commanded by the law of God in her heart.
sex men giving
Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
sex good-sex female
There is only one good sex. The female one.
cease easiest ought smoking thousand
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did, I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.
desire dig hidden life raging rightly somewhere time treasure
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure
caught crucified
There has been only one Christian. They caught and crucified him early.
birth grieve involved rejoice
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved
barely good whiskey
Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.
belief believing schoolboy
Yet it was the schoolboy who said "Faith is believing what you know ain't so
age age-and-aging dark insanity knew misfortune
(Twain on Cain): it was his misfortune to live in a dark age that knew not the beneficent Insanity Plea
divide full joy love scholars-and-scholarship value
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
history looks older together twice
Varanasi" is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together