Mark Twain

Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
animal eight ideas
God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day when they were again needed. Therefore it was an odd idea to save specimens of them for eleven months in the ark, whilst aware that eight persons could not feed or water them by any human possibility. If they were to be preserved by miracle, the ark was not necessary - to let them swim would have answered the purpose and been more indubitably miraculous.
4th-of-july eight gone
Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.
eight wife religion
The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
eight weather ideas
When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.
brother blue eight
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
eight looks want
Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.
learning trouble wages
What's the use you learning to do right, when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
against dog home mama pack time trunk turns wife
When a man's dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama
convict conviction known man people settled
When a man is known to have no settled convictions of his own he can't convict other people
advertises brings fig leaf modesty statue suspicion
The statue that advertises its modesty with a fig leaf really brings its modesty under suspicion
christian nations spite
The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive, but in spite of their religion, not because of it
editor excellent meddle needs perfect political serve shall term
I shall not often meddle with politics, because we have a political Editor who is already excellent and only needs to serve a term or two in the penitentiary to be perfect
generalize sample single stop
The world will not stop and think- it never does, it is not its way; its way is to generalize from a single sample
building hold insane people run sane shut tried
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials.