Mark Twain

Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
disappointment years two
I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.
disappointment men mind
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment, anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
disappointment father believe
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.
learning trouble wages
What's the use you learning to do right, when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
against dog home mama pack time trunk turns wife
When a man's dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama
convict conviction known man people settled
When a man is known to have no settled convictions of his own he can't convict other people
advertises brings fig leaf modesty statue suspicion
The statue that advertises its modesty with a fig leaf really brings its modesty under suspicion
christian nations spite
The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive, but in spite of their religion, not because of it
editor excellent meddle needs perfect political serve shall term
I shall not often meddle with politics, because we have a political Editor who is already excellent and only needs to serve a term or two in the penitentiary to be perfect
generalize sample single stop
The world will not stop and think- it never does, it is not its way; its way is to generalize from a single sample
building hold insane people run sane shut tried
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials.
building hold humanity insane materials people run sane shut tried
The way it is now, the asylums can hold all the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials
fluid history ink merely prejudice written
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice
against chance petrified waves wear
Arguments have no chance against petrified training; they wear it as little as the waves wear a cliff.