Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
average believes certain consists man religion thinks wishes
Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain
certain denied desperate provides urgent
Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
certain circumstance denied desperate furnishes profanity relief trying urgent
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
fishing reason certain
In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.
certainty-of-death certainty-in-life taxes
The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
boy building closed education farmer jail public river save schools spoke stopped time
When I was a boy on the Mississippi River there was a proposition in a township there to discontinue public schools because they were too expensive. An old farmer spoke up and said if they stopped building the schools they would not save anything, because every time a school was closed a jail had to be built.
astonished boy father hardly ignorant learned man seven stand
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.
age-and-aging bed begin brains business forty main permanent regular since until
We have no permanent brains until we are forty. Then they begin to harden, presently they petrify, then business begins. Since forty I have been regular about going to bed and getting up -- and that is one of the main things.
boys children half nine
We have nine children now half boys and half girls.
side time whenever
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
atlantic emerges german last literary side until verb whenever
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
knowing loudest
The person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
intended nobody offers pay somebody three until within wood writers-and-writing
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were intended for.
funny compassion feelings
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.