Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
father men monkeys
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
peace truth war
The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception.
marriage promise welcome
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
life inspiring truth
In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
inspirational education learning
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
nature animal men
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
eight wife religion
The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
liars holes mines
A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
real chance sin
A sin takes on a new and real terror when there seems a chance that it is going to be found out.
frogs explaining ends
Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
political literature principles
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
inspiration achievement smoking
It is easier to stay out than get out.
spring inspiration years
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
funny work evil
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.