Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
uninformed newspapers ifs
If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
order two fire
When your watch gets out of order you have choice of two things to do: throw it in the fire or take it to the watch-tinker. The former is the quickest.
oysters ants bees
We all know about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.
children real party
There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
real yellow gold
The real yellow peril: Gold.
horse laughing fetch
The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
men russia earth
The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.
sound mouths slang
Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
trying half virtue
None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.
tomorrow
Let us save the tomorrows for work.
luck target enough
It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.
honesty six sometimes
Honesty is often the best policy, but sometimes the appearance of it is worth six of it.
girl book hero
Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
gratitude two band
Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.