Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
soul unendurable mediocre
The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.
inspirational death dying
All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.
religious humorous eye
I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.
birthday failure age
Life should begin with age and it's privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and it's capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
humorous stories crafts
The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
book heart three
There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2 admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.
hurt sick sometimes
Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.
men thinking
S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think?
compounds knows ifs
If you don't know how to pronounce a word, say it loudly. Do not compound mispronunciation with inaudibility
men years two
Solomon, who was one of the Deity's favorites, had a copulation cabinet composed of seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. To save his life he could not have kept two of these young creatures satisfactorily refreshed, even if he had fifteen experts to help him. Necessarily almost the entire thousand had to go hungry for years and years on a stretch. Conceive of a man hardhearted enough to look daily upon all that suffering and not be moved to mitigate it.
children thinking edited
I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.
funny wise money
Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
mad people news
A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.
children idiot providence
The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.