Maria Bamford
Maria Bamford
Maria Elizabeth Sheldon Bamfordis an American stand-up comedian, actress, and voice actress. She is best known for her portrayal of her dysfunctional family and self-deprecating comedy involving jokes about depression and anxiety. Her comedy style is surreal and incorporates voice impressions of various character types...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 September 1970
CityPort Hueneme, CA
CountryUnited States of America
People get really irritated by mental illness.
Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry.
I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because thats been said to me.
My mom is very religious and she said, 'Whatever you think about all the time, that's what you worship.' If that's the case I'd like everyone to pop open their Diet Coke cans and turn to page 37 of their People Magazines. In this holy scripture, we read the parable of Ms. Valerie Bertinelli.
I find it creatively satisfying to write material and say it out loud in a public place, whether or not anyone's listening.
Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love!
Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough.
We’re all doing the best we can and sometimes it is not that good.
I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.
I'm not technically rich, but I do have a lot of s**t that I don't need, that I refuse to share with others.
I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about an eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?
I'm not looking for much, I just want, like, a really nice guy who has, you know, like a job... and the missing half of this golden amulet.
I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better.
I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope.