Louis C. K.
Louis C. K.
Louis Székely pronounced , known professionally as Louis C.K., is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, director, and editor. Born in Washington, D.C., C.K. moved to Mexico City as an infant and learned Spanish as his first language, learning English once he moved back to the U.S. at age 7. He began his career writing for several comedy shows in the 1990s and early 2000s for comedians including David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, and Chris Rock. Also in this period, he was...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 September 1967
CountryUnited States of America
I love being divorced. Every year has been better than the last. By the way, I'm not saying don't get married. If you meet somebody, fall in love and get married. Then get divorced. Because that's the best part. Divorce is forever! It really actually is. Marriage is for how long you can hack it. But divorce just gets stronger like a piece of oak. Nobody ever says 'oh, my divorce is falling apart, it's over, I can't take it.'
Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis.
You know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog.
The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.
I look around, pretty much 100% of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars. But people are willing to risk taking a life and ruining their own because they don't want to be alone for a second because it's so hard.
Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.
If you have something to say, here's what you do: You write it down on a piece of paper, you go out in the lobby, and then you go home and you kill yourself.
Expensive quality work doesn't cost more - it pays.
If you can survive disappointment, nothing can beat you
You know what our number one threat is? Heart disease.
There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.
You know what, it's not your life, it's life. Life is bigger than you, if you can imagine that. Life isn't something that you possess, it's something that you take part in and witness.
Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority.
I can't just sit on my daughter's bed and just say 'n---' all night and then put her to sleep. I just ain't gonna do that... I told the girls that these boys are racists, and they're not nice boys. But I think we can still enjoy the stories about the fishin' and the tradin'.