Laura Wasser
Laura Wasser
Laura Allison Wasseris an American attorney specializing in divorce. Her clients have included Ryan Reynolds, Heidi Klum, Ashton Kutcher, Christina Aguilera, Marta Kauffman, and Johnny Depp. as well as many pro bono clients from the Harriet Buhai Center for Family Law...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionLawyer
CountryUnited States of America
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There is probably no such thing as a good divorce, but clinging to an old idea of how relationships are unraveled can make a bad thing even worse.
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I don't try to be sexy, but I do want to look as good as I can.
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Do I believe in coupling? Do I believe in commitment? Do I believe in co-parenting, raising children together, having a family, and growing old with someone? I absolutely believe in all of those things. I just don't believe that you need to be married to do that. I love going to weddings, though. I do love a good wedding.
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Dissolution and custody matters are the great equalizers. Having done this for a while, you do realize that everybody has the same issues. It doesn't matter how much money you have or how much power you have, you are always afraid you're never going to see your child.
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If some people try to make a prenup into a pre-negotiation of a divorce... Well, that's really sad. But I do think that it's important to understand what each person has coming into the relationship, and what each person expects from the relationship. They aren't always fun discussions to have, and they can be very eye-opening.
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As a society, we've evolved, and we've recognized that the American family structure has undergone enormous changes. Divorce is all around us, and who among us doesn't know someone who is divorced or has been impacted by divorce. It's not as scandalous as it was.
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Just as you go to the gym regularly to keep your body fit, regular couples counseling can keep your relationship fit as well.
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Generally, there are no lightning bolts or magical signs that tell you when it is time to get divorced. When the bad starts outweighing the good on a consistent basis, you may feel that taking the next step is appropriate. It is a very personal decision and most likely should be arrived upon with the help of some kind of counseling or support.
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My dad once said that in criminal law you see terrible people on their best behavior; in family law you see great people on their worst behavior.
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I'm not a divorce monger by any means, but if you're not happy in a relationship, and you've grown apart, it's not healthy for a couple to stay together. It's better for kids to see two happy parents than two miserable parents.
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I think if you're going to be in a relationship with someone, you need to be able to share the responsibility, the knowledge, the worry. It's not like it was when our parents or their parents were having lives where the mom just baked bread, and the husband worried about it, and the wife didn't know there was any problem.
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In seeking a lawyer, you are looking for an advocate, an expert advisor on the law and on your rights and responsibilities, a strategist, a negotiator, and a litigator.
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The rarity is the sudden epiphany or single turning point showing you with dramatic clarity that your marriage is over, although that does happen. Most relationships hover on a precipice for years before one party or the other finally decides it is time to jump, and coming to the decision isn't easy.
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Sometimes, just the act of venting is helpful. Counseling provides a safe haven for precisely that kind of free-ranging release: You can say things in the therapist's office, with the therapist present, that would be incendiary or hurtful in your living room.