Josh Billings
Josh Billings
Josh Billings was the pen name of 19th-century American humorist Henry Wheeler Shaw. He was a famous humor writer and lecturer in the United States, perhaps second only to Mark Twain, during the latter half of the 19th century...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth21 April 1818
CityLanesborough, MA
CountryUnited States of America
lying father ideas
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.
philosophy men laughing
It strains a man's philosophy the worst kind to laugh when he gets beat.
believe ignorance men
Man isn't a fool for his ignorance, but rather for believing things that are wrong.
love-is later-in-life love-is-like
Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher it goes with us.
rats traps fingers
Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
men eagles crow
Men of genius are like eagles, they live on what they kill, while men of talents are like crows, they live on what has been killed for them.
plowing
Wisdom that don't make us happier ain't worth plowing for.
children may shrewdness
Never teach your child to be cunning or you may be certain you will be one of the very first victims of his shrewdness.
garden scratches chickens
One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.
garden eden yankees
Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.
fire laughing soul
Pyrotechnically considered, [laughing] is the fire-works of the soul.
fall men ice
The hardest thing any man can do is to fall down on the ice when it's slippery, and get up and praise the Lord.
spring heart water
Genuine laughing is the vent of the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and just as necessary for health and happiness as spring water is for a trout.
ignorance stuff
Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.