Jacob Braude
Jacob Braude
use antiques modern-life
Only uncomfortable chairs become antiques - the comfortable ones are worn out by hard use.
advice behave calm devil surface
Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.
behave calm devil duck surface underneath
Always behave like a duck - keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath
father doors parent
Junior was being chided for his low grades. Little Robert, who lived a few doors away, was held up as an example. "Robert doesn't get C's and D's does he?" asked his father. "No," Junior admitted, "but he's different. He has very bright parents".
art dull speech
All work and no plagiarism makes a dull speech.
sex president age
No woman is likely ever to be elected President - they never reach the required legal age.
jobs men giving
The surest way to get a job done is to give it to a busy man. He'll have his secretary do it.
vacation long boss
A vacation should be just long enough that your boss misses you, and not long enough for him to discover how well he can get along without you.
triangles love-triangle
Most of these love triangles are wrecktangles.
fool beats playing-the-fool
There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience.
wife getting-older care
You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
beautiful humorous love-and-marriage
Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.
sports golf men
By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit that far.
miscellaneous ifs
If a thing goes without saying -- let it.