Jack
funny california fire
We were ensconced as guests of the exclusive Beverly Hilton Hotel, an edifice so swank that the fire ax in the hall outside our suite said: "In case of fire-break crystal."
funny hurt fall
Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.
funny two california
... Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca.
bridges painting ends
Doing the show was like painting the George Washington Bridge. As soon as you finished one end, you started right in on the other.
fun vaccines people
Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.
kids interesting people
Statistics show that many people watch our show from the bedroom. and people you ask into your bedroom have to be more interesting than those you ask into your living room. I kid you not!
sarcastic divorce settling
She should get a divorce and settle down.
dislike-me impossible dislike
It's almost impossible to dislike me, because I do nothing.
funny believe humor
Disneyland is such a big thing to Californians, I discovered that when you cross the border you have to raise your right hand and take an oath that you believe in Walt Disney.
funny humor oscars
The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.
acting interviews hobbies
In an interview Errol Flynn said that his hobby was acting but he doesn't have time for it.
believe way lasts
As I was saying before I was interrupted ... I believe the last thing I said was 'There must be a better way to make a living than this.' Well, I've looked - and there isn't.
crazy kids blood
Personally, I like those mystery shows. Ever since I was a kid I've been crazy about blood and detectives and murder. Maybe I was born with a silver knife in my back.
long looks obstacles
As I look back on my life, I see it as one long obstacle course with myself as the main obstacle.