Jack Benny
Jack Benny
Jack Bennywas an American comedian, vaudevillian, radio, television and film actor, and violinist. Recognized as a leading American entertainer of the 20th century, Benny portrayed his character as a miser, playing his violin badly. In character, he would claim to be 39 years of age, regardless of his actual age...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth14 February 1894
CityChicago, IL
CountryUnited States of America
I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.
I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.
Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere
As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.
Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more.
I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.
Gags die, humor doesn't.
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.
I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.