George Burns

George Burns
George Burnswas an American comedian, actor, singer, and writer. He was one of the few entertainers whose career successfully spanned vaudeville, radio, film and television. His arched eyebrow and cigar-smoke punctuation became familiar trademarks for over three-quarters of a century. He and his wife, Gracie Allen, appeared on radio, television, and film as the comedy duo Burns and Allen...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Actor
Date of Birth20 January 1896
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Everyday happiness means you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do.
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.