George Burns
George Burns
George Burnswas an American comedian, actor, singer, and writer. He was one of the few entertainers whose career successfully spanned vaudeville, radio, film and television. His arched eyebrow and cigar-smoke punctuation became familiar trademarks for over three-quarters of a century. He and his wife, Gracie Allen, appeared on radio, television, and film as the comedy duo Burns and Allen...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Actor
Date of Birth20 January 1896
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.
I get a standing ovation just standing
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.