Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck
Erma Louise Bombeckwas an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers. From 1965 to 1996, Erma Bombeck wrote over 4,000 newspaper columns, using broad and sometimes eloquent humor, chronicling the ordinary life of a midwestern suburban housewife. By the 1970s, her columns were read twice-weekly by 30 million readers of the 900 newspapers in the U.S...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth21 February 1927
CityBellbrook, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.
I never go to a college reunion that I don't come away feeling sorry for all those paunchy, balding jocks trying to hang onto youth. I feel sorry for the men, too.
Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their body.
I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from, Mommy?" They will range from "Number 176 vial in Buffalo, New York," to "You were defrosted."
I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother, and dog. If someone wanted to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, he would refuse until he had been formally introduced.
As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.
There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'.
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"
If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.
I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.