Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen Lee DeGeneres is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and producer. Degeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998, and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003...
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth26 January 1958
CityMetairie, LA
funny-relationship breathing littles
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, 'Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it's so repetitious.'
funny-inspirational oysters voice
I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.
hilarious oxygen credit
Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.
each-day diapers way
Do you live each day as if it's your first or your last? Either way you should probably have a diaper on.
talking laughing people
There are “well-known secrets” out there and there are people who are “so happy they could die.” Sometimes people are so sad they have to laugh and sometimes things feel so wrong, they’re right. Basically what I’m saying is, I usually don’t know what people are talking about.
crazy meditation-practice feel-good
It feels good. Kinda like when you have to shut your computer down, just sometimes when it goes crazy, you just shut it down and when you turn it on, it's okay again. That's what meditation is to me.
kindness compassion people
I'm glad I'm funny. I'm glad I make people happy, because that's very important. But I'm proud to be known as a kind person.
bullying thinking differences
We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common - which is - we all want to be happy.
smart math brain
We use only 10% of our brains... Imagine how smart we would be if we used the other 60%!
running writing shopping
Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on the bottom of the letter. Like I'm that much of a moron. Like I need that there. Because if it wasn't there, I'd get to the bottom of the page: 'And so Kathy and I went shopping and we--' That's the craziest thing! I don't know why she would just end it that way.
numbers size
Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It's not a number at all.
funny sorry hate
Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in!?"
funny stress lions
I don't want to take a pill. Go to Africa, go follow some bushman around. He's being chased by a lion. That's stress. You're not going to find a pygmy on Paxil, I'll tell you that right now.
funny college looks
I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.