David D. Burns
David D. Burns
David D. Burnsis an adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine and the author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and The Feeling Good Handbook. Burns popularized Aaron T. Beck's cognitive behavioral therapywhen his book became a best seller during the 1980s...
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guilt helping should
Guilt doesn't help. What should fill in for it? Remorse. Remorse is when you feel bad about what you did. Guilt is when you feel bad about who you are.
powerful pride winning
Despite their differences, pride, shame, and guilt all activate similar neural circuits, including the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, amygdala, insula, and the nucleus accumbens. Interestingly, pride is the most powerful of these emotions at triggering activity in these regions - except in the nucleus accumbens, where guilt and shame win out. This explains why it can be so appealing to heap guilt and shame on ourselves - they're activating the brain's reward center.
mistake guilt way
Guilt is not the best way to remedy your mistakes.
sometimes humans persons
You're not a bad person. But you sometimes do bad things. You know what that makes you? Human.
regret feel-better oil
Regret has a purpose. It's like the oil light on the dashboard of your life, telling you something needs to be fixed. So fix it. And feel better.
believe apology differences
Apologies do make a difference. Believe it or not, research shows people often prefer them over money.
powerful recovery goal
Powerful new drug-free treatments have been developed for depression and for every conceivable type of anxiety, such as chronic worrying, shyness, public speaking anxiety, test anxiety, phobias, and panic attacks. The goal of the treatment is not just partial improvement but full recovery.
giving focus credit
It can be helpful simply to make a written or mental list of the things you do each day. Then give yourself a mental credit for each of them, however small. This will help you focus on what you have done instead of what you haven't gotten around to do. It may sound simplistic, but it works.
forgiving screw-ups forgive-yourself
Forgive yourself and be ready to forgive yourself in the future. You're gonna screw up. It's okay.
stars stress air
Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching air. They suffer from mood disorders, troubled relationships, and stress. They may even achieve less than others.
kindness anxiety causes
Kindness is the cause of all anxiety.
mean humility thinking
Learning to accept failure on multiple levels is, to my way of thinking, the key to become a world-class therapist. But that means humility, and setting your ego aside, while you develop superb new technical skills.
mistake people feelings
What is the point of abusing yourself with guilt in the first place? If you did make a mistake and act in a hurtful way, your guilt won't reverse your blunder in some magical manner. It won't speed your learning processes so as to reduce the chance you'll make the same mistake in the future. Other people won't love and respect you more because you are feeling guilty and putting yourself down in this manner. Nor will your guilt lead to productive living. So what's the point?
stars air may
Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching at air.