Daniel Handler
Daniel Handler
Daniel Handleris an American writer and journalist. He is best known for his work under the pen name Lemony Snicket, having published children's series A Series of Unfortunate Events and All the Wrong Questions under this pseudonym. He has also published adult novels under his real name; his first book The Basic Eight was rejected by many publishers for its dark subject matter. His most recent book is We Are Pirates. Handler has also played the accordion in several bands...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth28 February 1970
CitySan Francisco, CA
CountryUnited States of America
Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.
Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down on a bed instead of sitting at the counter of Black Cat Coffee. I quietly reassured them that this was an unusual situation, and had the machinery make me some bread as a breakfast.
This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie.
I don’t smoke, although it looks fantastic in films. But I light matches on those thinking blank nights when I crawl my route out onto the roof of the garage and the sky while my parents sleep innocent and the lonely cars move sparse on the faraway streets, when the pillow won’t stay cool and the blankets bother my body no matter how I move or lie still. I just sit with my legs dangling and light matches and watch them flicker away.
You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.
I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do.
I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, but they hardly ever do.
The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world , you'll see that teachers aren't particularly worse at doing things than anyone else, so perhaps the expression might be better worded as 'nobody can do anything
I have gone into town to buy a few last things we need for the expedition: Peruvian wasp repellent, toothbrushes, canned peaches, and a fireproof canoe. It will take a while to find the peaches, so don't expect me back until dinnertime. Stephano, Gustav's replacement, will arrive today by taxi. Please make him feel welcome. As you know, it is only two days until the expedition, so please work very hard today. Your giddy uncle, Monty
Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later.
Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.
Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.
There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.