Colin Quinn
Colin Quinn
Colin Edward Quinn is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. On television, he is best known for his work on Saturday Night Live, where he anchored Weekend Update, on MTV's 1980's game show Remote Control, where he served as the announcer/sidekick, and as host of Comedy Central's late-night panel show Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Notable film work includes his role as Dickey Bailey in the Grown Ups films and playing Amy Schumer's father in the film Trainwreck...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 June 1959
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.
Well... you know, I would wake up with a terrible hangover in a jail somewhere and worst part was that I would not know why I was there.
Humanity is a crazy contradiction. I accept us for who we are. We're not that great. Every time we take a step forward we go back to the same primitive behavior. We're meant to be this way. It's not our fault, it's just who we are.
People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.
Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.
The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.
I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.
The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.
I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.
The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.
I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.
It’s sad. Marxism didn’t work. Communism didn’t work. Capitalism doesn’t work. Nothing works. Even democracy doesn’t work. Democracy-the greatest form of government and we have two choices for who’s our leader. In fascism you only have one choice. That’s great. We have one more choice than the worst form of government.
You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.