Chris Rock

Chris Rock
Christopher Julius "Chris" Rock III is an American comedian, actor, and producer...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1965
CityAndrews, SC
mother jail chains
My mother always says: "You know better, so you'll be punished. Your friends don't know better, so they won't be punished. They can go snatch chains and they'll be fine. But if you snatch chains, you'll end up in jail because you know better."
funny mother crazy
All you crazy white people "I'm American!", all you did was come out of your mother's pussy on American soil. That's it. That's it! What, you think you're better than somebody from France 'cause you came out of a pussy in Detroit?
mother thinking people
You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat cools off.
mother real kids
It's my real name. My mother's name is Rose Rock. It was the worst name as a kid to have. They called me Piece of the Rock, Plymouth Rock, Joe Rockid, and Flintstones. Now they call me Mister Rock.
funny mother lines
My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
daughter mother kids
I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.
mother father men
My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it, but my mother was sicker than my father. And my mother’s alive. My mother’s fine, OK? I remember going to the hospital to see my mother and wondering, ‘Was I in the right place?’ Like, this was a hotel. Like it had a concierge, man. If the average person really knew the discrepancy in the health care system, there’d be riots in the streets, OK? They would burn this m-therf—ker down!
mother curse careful
I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.
casting excuse famous funny gonna horrible seen stunt
I've never seen stunt casting that's actually funny: 'Oh, it's Shaq,' and then there's some horrible excuse for him to dunk, ... It's, like, 'We got a famous guy, and he's gonna be famous tonight' -- and it sucks!
ahead black bunch great guy lost love
It was way ahead of its time. It's like this black guy with a bunch of money. He's funny, and he never lost his money. He was always a great businessman. I love that show.
based
The show is loosely based on my life,
approve comments cringe name
I should see every script, I should make my comments and approve of jokes. I can't cringe at a show that's got my name on it.
boy girls grassroots hard nice punch ready trying white
I think I'd be too hard on a boy -- every day, trying to make him a man, getting him ready for white people, ... Girls don't punch each other in the face. Girls are pretty nice to each other, even, like, on a grassroots level.
contest dance judge paula reeve simon watching
Have you been watching American Idol? They have Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul judgin' the singin. Paula Abdul?! Gettin' Paula Abdul to judge a singin' contest is like gettin' Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest!