Chris Hardwick
Chris Hardwick
Christopher Ryan "Chris" Hardwickis an American television host, stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, podcaster, musician, and voice artist. He is the chief executive officer of Nerdist Industries, the digital division of Legendary Entertainment. He currently hosts @midnight with Chris Hardwick, a nightly comedy-game show series on Comedy Central, and voices Craig in the Nickelodeon series Sanjay and Craig...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth23 November 1971
CityLouisville, KY
CountryUnited States of America
The worst day ever was when I found out my grandfather was going to die.
Do you think Patrick Swayze now goes up behind people in pottery classes and hugs them just to crack up other ghosts?
I dated around some, but I've always been a serial monogamist. I don't know how people date around a lot, and not want to stab themselves in the face with a sharp object.
The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don't take themselves seriously.
A lot of people complain in the year 2003 that it's not the world of tomorrow as foreseen in the 1950s. 'Where are the flying cars?' people say. 'Where are the robots who bring us blue drinks and warn us of danger?' Alright. We don't have those things, specifically, folks, but you know what we do have? Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
It's so much easier to give advice than to take it.
I love the South. Although I grew up primarily in Memphis, my family moved around a ton when I was a kid. I guess I never stayed in one place long enough to pick up the accent, but I definitely identify as a Southerner.
Playing Xbox for 23 hours straight is cool and all, but I'm going to teach you how to spend time on things in your life that will get you the following two things: paid and laid.
Rats are just Ziploc bags full of disease.
You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.
I've always had a fondness for that satirical, Terry Gilliam - esque evil corporate megastructure, the kind of business that hangs banners that say making your life better as it throws kittens into the gears.
Alcohol is like pouring smiles on your brain.
Sober strip clubs are horrible. When you are sober you see the matrix code behind a strip club. You're paying girls to pretend to like you until you run out of money so they can walk away.
When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.