Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Joy Handleris an American comedian, actress, writer, television host, and producer. She hosted a late-night talk show called Chelsea Lately on the E! network from 2007 to 2014, and released a documentary series, Chelsea Does, on Netflix in January 2016. In May 2016 she began her new talk show Chelsea on Netflix. In 2012, Time placed her on the list of its 100 Most Influential People...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 February 1975
CityLivingston, NJ
CountryUnited States of America
Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.
There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!
I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
According to an article on CNN.com, a new study says people who are bad kissers don't get laid. Where are you supposed to learn how to kiss? If you go to Catholic school, it's from your priest; in public school, you learn from your teacher; and some guys learn from their sisters... if their sister is Angelina Jolie.
A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?
We spend so much money on these dresses that are terrible. And what do we get out of it? Nothing - a piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with her hillbilly cousin - no thank you. My family's very close; I can do that at home.
Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.
You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.
It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.
It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.
Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.
I'm not graceful either. I have no rhythm, I'm never on top.