Bill Burr

Bill Burr
William Frederic "Bill" Burr is an American comedian, writer, and actor. He is best known for his stand-up comedy specials. He is also known for being the host of Bill Burr's Monday Morning Podcast, playing Patrick Kuby in the AMC crime drama series Breaking Bad, and starring in the Netflix animated sitcom F Is for Family as Frank Murphy. In 2013, The New York Times wrote that Burr "has been one of the funniest, most distinctive voices in the country...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth10 June 1968
CityCanton, MA
CountryUnited States of America
There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.
I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes "no you didn't feature, you co-hosted". He literally invented a term so he didn't have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!
I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty of leaning on the mic stand, but you can only do that so long before you're like, "Jesus, I'm bombing." The fact that people pay to come see me, that's really just out the window.
When you say, "there's no reason [to hit a woman]" that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, "there's no reason," you cut out the build-up and you're just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out?
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, 'What do you think you're doing!' The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.
There are no winners in this election [2016]. I paid attention to it for about two months and then it just started to depress me. At least Hillary's [Clinton] a politician, but the fact that you've got a guy from a reality TV show! I have to say, out of everything I've ever watched in sports - the greatest comebacks ever - watching [Donald Trump] get the nomination for the Republican Party is the most astounding thing I've ever seen.
Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are.
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me.
There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you like 17 right off the top of my head.
I don't think people know what hygienist means.
I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good.
If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast.
I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right?
I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.