Bernard Manning
Bernard Manning
Bernard John Manningwas an English comedian and nightclub owner...
NationalityBritish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 August 1930
silly thinking years
I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool.
believe fats
You are what you eat.....I've eaten so many fat cunts you wouldn't believe
mother law self
I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.
Uncyclopedia isn't funny anymore.
laughing mind driving
I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.
want sober drink
If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober...
sex men rejected
I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
funny witty sleep
We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
christmas xmas kids
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.