Artie Lange
Artie Lange
Arthur Steven "Artie" Lange, Jr.is an American comedian, actor, author and radio show host, best known for his tenures on The Howard Stern Show and the sketch comedy series Mad TV. Born and raised in New Jersey, Lange first worked as a longshoreman and cab driver to help support his family following the death of his quadriplegic father. After making his stand-up debut in 1987, he began a full-time comedy career in 1992, performing stand-up and improv shows throughout the...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth11 October 1967
CityLivingston, NJ
CountryUnited States of America
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better than when my Uncle Perry hugs me. What else has my mother been lying to me about?
If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
I'm very resilient. The only thing I'm missing right now are abs.
Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.
I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.
I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.
When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.
At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota
A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he'd ground out to second for him.
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
If I get lucky enough one day to have Howard's money and life... Actually, you know what, if I ever get Howard money I am going to retire.