Arthur Smith
Arthur Smith
among appalled hardest job people slightly
When they meet a stand-up comic, people sometimes remark: 'That must be the hardest job in the world.' Among comedians, only Freddie Starr is not embarrassed and slightly appalled by this remark.
came eight laughed offered school trying version wrote
When I was eight or nine, I wrote a new version of 'Peter Pan' for the school play. They didn't use it - I imagine it was unperformable - but as recompense for not doing my script, I was offered any role, and instinctively went for Captain Hook. I came on trying to be terrifying, but everyone laughed at me.
life line people putting save
You're not putting your life on the line to save the people of the village, ... I am.
ended later lunch point unless week
I couldn't really see the point of having lunch unless it started at one and ended a week later in Monte Carlo.
amazing offered programs variety
It's just amazing to see the variety of programs offered at the school.
brutally last time until versus
This time it was much more intense. Last year, the contestants were kind of 'us versus Gordon' right up until the end - this was brutally competitive right from the beginning.
built october time
We built it the first time in October 2004 and tore it down when we were done.
provide
Theatricals can be irritating, but will provide a better night out than mobile phone salespeople.
beloved children normally pun tabloid
Only the pun remains. The pun, beloved of Shakespeare, children and tabloid headline-writers, is normally eschewed in the modern, sophisticated circles in which I move.
bought seen slept
Give me the new thing and give it to me now. I don't want that old thing - I've seen it, heard it, bought it, slept with it, loved it, but now I'm bored with the old thing and I'm gagging for the new stuff.
appalling audience break caught female largely men taking tv watching
A female friend who caught me watching Fashion TV reckons its audience is largely made up of slobbering men who are just taking a break from the appalling Men & Motors channel. I don't agree.
advice appalled leave lists pretension summer suspicious terrifying time year
It's the time of year when the literati give advice on what we should be reading on our summer holidays. These terrifying lists often leave me appalled at my own ignorance, but also suspicious about the pretension of their advocates.
travel
Travel books are, by and large, boring. They lodge uncomfortably between fact, fiction and autobiography.
associate decades four hills nearly pampered poets
I've been trekking the hills and lanes of the British countryside for nearly four decades now and I've come to associate my passion with overexcited poets rather than pampered painters.