Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is an American stand-up comedian and writer. Hamilton began his stand-up comedy career at The Comedy Store...
running california car
Conoco will build a $75 million plant to see if a process to convert natural gas to liquid fuel is profitable. It has to be. In California, gasoline is so expensive that people are trying to run their cars on cocaine.
gun men iowa
Secret Service agents detained an Iowa man with a gun who happened to be walking in a Des Moines park where President Bush was jogging. Were they out of their minds? White guys with guns put Bush in the White House.
friday dad party
Jenna Bush was cited for underage drinking in Austin Friday. Her dad warned her that too much partying at school could cost her a good career. At $400,000, he's making the lowest salary of any of his Yale classmates.
memories mistake short-memory
The most identifiable trait of Anglo-Saxons is that we always mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
party always-trying america
President Obama hosted a state dinner for British Prime Minister David Cameron. The president and the British are getting along a lot better lately. They love to compare notes on ways the Tea Party's always trying to overthrow their rule in America.
struggle years jail
President Obama compared himself to Gandhi and Nelson Mandela in the struggle to bring about change. The comparison is flawed. They spent years in jail before taking political power, while politicians from Chicago do it the other way around.
monday new-york home
The Columbus Day Parade was held Monday in New York. Columbus was the world's first Democrat. He left not knowing where he was going, arrived not knowing where he was, went home not knowing where he had been, and he did it all on government money.
mom brother jobs
Barclays Bank in England purchased bankrupt Lehman Brothers Tuesday along with its Manhattan tower, saving nine thousand jobs. It's humiliating. The United States of America is 232 years old and we're having to go to mom for money.
fall sunday years
FBI laboratory scientists said Sunday they have determined that the anthrax mailed to Senate offices last fall was fresh. They say it's only two years old. If the stuff is two years old and it's still fresh, it's not anthrax, it's Velveeta.
wrestling levels raised
Jesse Ventura took American politics and raised it to the level of professional wrestling.
country america documentary-films
Michael Moore announced that his next documentary film will attack the health care industry in America. He's not out to get the pharmaceutical companies. He's just looking for something to relieve the redness in the center of the country.
iraq cash directors
CIA Director George Tenet briefed a Senate panel ... about the current situation in Iraq. He described how cash was being stolen and women were being assaulted with impunity. Senators love to attend these continuing education seminars.
friday war marine
Hillary Clinton will travel to Vietnam with the president this Friday. It's a fact that at the height of the war in 1971, she tried to enlist in the Marines, but they turned her down. Apparently we weren't that mad at the Viet Cong.
attacked attempt beneath blatant cruise customer entire flies india intimidate missile nuclear pakistan service states thursday united wipe
Pakistan test-fired its first cruise missile Thursday in a blatant attempt to intimidate India. It flies beneath radar. If they attacked India with a nuclear cruise missile it could wipe out the entire United States customer service industry.