Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken "Andy" Rooneywas an American radio and television writer who was best known for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program 60 Minutes from 1978 to 2011. His final regular appearance on 60 Minutes aired on October 2, 2011. He died one month later, on November 4, 2011, at age 92...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth14 January 1919
CityAlbany, NY
CountryUnited States of America
Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
Don't give it to Katie. Give it to a bunch of reporters and make CBS News the best news operation in the world.
Don't pin much hope on the mail, and when the phone rings don't expect anyone wonderful to be calling
Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research, it is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts an
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Where some people may see loving grandparents, I see a pair of feckless boobs who can't drive, take way too long to shop, and don't even have the most basic grasps on the new technology. As a staunch supporter of the principles of Darwinism, I think that advances in modern medicine are starting to overrule the survival of the fittest, and it's to our [youngers'] detriment.
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.