Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.
RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.
INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.
When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.
OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .
Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire
SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.
MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.