Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.
CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
I think I think, therefore I think I am.
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.
MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.
PERIPATETIC, adj. Walking about. Relating to the philosophy of Aristotle, who, while expounding it, moved from place to place in order to avoid his pupil's objections. A needless precaution - they knew no more of the matter than he.
Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.
PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.