Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.
MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.
PLENIPOTENTIARY, adj. Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it.
Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.
COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.
RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.
WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.
MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."
Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.
Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.