Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.
REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.
LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.
KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.
No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.
PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.
Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.
PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.