Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.
Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".
Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.
That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity
OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.
Congratulations is the civility of envy.
PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.
While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands, you are safe, for you can watch both his.
CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.
IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.
HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.