Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.
Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.
Woman absent is woman dead.