Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.
Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.
Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting
San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen
Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
I was born to poor because of honest parents.
Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.