Famous Quotes & Sayings

George Carlin

My tombstone? I'm thinking something along the lines of, 'Geez, he was just here a minute ago.'

Frederick Buechner

The other day, the way people [do] who are approaching their 80th birthday, I was thinking about all the last business - funerals and where do you want to be buried - and I thought if anything were to be inscribed on my tombstone, I said let it be that.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

The chances that your tombstone will read 'Killed by Asteroid' are about the same as they'd be for 'Killed in Airplane Crash.'

James Joseph Sylvester

Surely with as good reason as had Archimedes to have the cylinder, cone and sphere engraved on his tombstone might our distinguished countrymen leave testamentary directions for the cubic eikosiheptagram to be engraved on theirs. Spirit of the Universe! wither are we drifting, and when, where, and how is all this to end?

James Joyce

I am a worker, a tombstone mason, anxious to pleace averyburies and jully glad when Christmas comes his once ayear.

Peg Bracken

Some people collect paperweights, or pre-Columbian figures, or old masters, or young mistresses, or tombstone rubbings, or five-minute recipes, or any of a thousand other things ... My own collection is sunrises; and I find that they have their advantages. Sunrises are usually handsome, they can't possibly be dusted, and they take only a little room, so long as it has a window to see them from.

Mort Sahl

I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

Joseph Conrad

Sleep after toyle, port after stormie seas, Ease after warre, death after life, does greatly please.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Hatred is a heavy burden. It sinks the heart deep in the breast, and lies like a tombstone on all joys.

George Clooney

Having 'Oscar winner' on your tombstone is a great thing.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange

Rachel Caine

Another thing I don't want on my tombstone," Shane said. You have others?" Claire asked. He held up one finger. "I thought it wasn't loaded," Shane said. Second finger. "Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank." Third finger. "Killed over ice cream. Basically, any death that requires me to be stupid first.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The passive master lent his hand, To the vast Soul which o'er him planned.

Regina Brett

Some people hate funerals. I find them comforting. They hit the pause button on life and remind us that it has an end. Every eulogy reminds me to deepen my dash, that place on the tombstone between our birth and our death.

Lewis Mumford

I would die happy if I knew that on my tombstone could be written these words, "This man was an absolute fool. None of the disastrous things that he reluctantly predicted ever came to pass!"

Steven Morrissey

When they bury me in a church and chuck earth on my grave, I'd like the words 'Well, at least he tried' engraved on my tombstone.

Sammy Davis, Jr.

"The Entertainer" He did it all.

Karl Lagerfeld

A book has to be easy to open and you don't have to be a bodybuilder to lift it. I like books I can read in bed. Those big tombstones would kill me.

Karl Lagerfeld

I must say, some are not very beautifully made. They’re coffee-table books for people who drink alcohol. I have nothing against coffee-table books as long as they are well done. They must not look like gravestones on a table. Sometimes they are too big, they come in boxes and things like this. No, a book has to be easy to open and you don’t have to be a bodybuilder to lift it. I like books I can read in bed. Those big tombstones would kill me.

Laurie Holden

I don't want my tombstone to say actress. I want it to say human being.

Rosario Dawson

You only live once. You don't want your tombstone to read: 'Played it Safe.'

Tom Bosley

My wife says that my tombstone will read, 'Here lies Mr.C, who used to be Mr.B.' So I think that's probably what I'll be remembered for.

Stephen King

Human beings have got a lot, of good, noble impulses inside them, and most people want to be good and do more good than they do evil. Hell, we've had nuclear weapons for years and nothing's happened. That in itself seems to be a miracle. If American president pushes the button, or somebody pushes the button in Russia, or somebody pushes it in Costa Rica, they can put a big tombstone in outer space that says, "We gave it a good try." Because we have.

Soren Kierkegaard

Had I to carve an inscription on my tombstone I would ask for none other than "The Individual."

Rita Hayworth

To Yesterday's Companionship and Tomorrow's Reunion.

Rudyard Kipling

And the end of the fight is tombstone white with the name of the late deceased, and the epitaph drear, "A Fool lies here who tried to hustle the East."

Rodney Dangerfield

I don't get no respect

Roger Goodell

The one thing I would hope would go on my tombstone is, 'I made my parents proud.'

Vladimir Lenin

Bah, tombstones are only good for pigeons to sit on

Walter Winchell

Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well.

William Shatner

I'm not going to have a tombstone. I'm going to be tossed in the air. Ashes, tossed like a salad.

Will Rogers

If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.

Will Rogers

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone 'America died from a delusion that she had moral leadership.'