Famous Quotes & Sayings

Joan Rivers

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

Joan Rivers

I have no sex appeal; if my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had the kid.

Joan Rivers

As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'

Joan Rivers

You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.

Joan Rivers

You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.

Joan Rivers

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

Garry Shandling

I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.

Garrison Keillor

We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?

Garrison Keillor

Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?

Garrison Keillor

Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.

Franklin Graham

The Bible does not say anything about communism, OK? The Bible has a whole lot to say about sex. It has a whole lot to say about homosexuality. And so you can't compare the two and say these are - these are the same. That's just ludicrous. It's just - it's not the same.

Franklin Graham

Same-sex marriage - no question - is an issue.

Franklin Graham

This is God's standards [against same-sex marriage and abortions]. And just because public opinion may have changed or somebody takes a poll - this is just one of the issues. And it doesn't matter what people say or what people think. It doesn't matter about the opinion polls. It's what God says, and God says this is a sin. And it's a sin against him, and he's going to judge sin.

Elayne Boosler

People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.

Elayne Boosler

Men in power always seem to get involved in sex scandals, but women don't even have a word for 'male bimbo.' Except maybe 'senator.

Elayne Boosler

I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?

Edward Dahlberg

The Americans have always been food, sex, and spirit revivalists.

Edward Dahlberg

Of all the animals on earth, none is so brutish as man when he seeks the delirium of coition.

Edie Sedgwick

It was really sad Bobby Neuwirth's and my affair. The only true, passionate, and lasting love scene, and I practically ended up in the psychopathic ward. I had really learned about sex from him, making love, loving, giving. It just completely blew my mind it drove me insane. I was like a sex slave to this man. I could make love for forty-eight hours, forty-eight hours, forty-eight hours, without getting tired. But the minute he left me alone, I felt so empty and lost that I would start popping pills.

Herman Wouk

... talk, not sex, constitutes most of the intercourse between a man and his wife.

Joseph Addison

It is always to be understood that a lady takes all you detract from the rest of her sex to be a gift to her.

Joseph Addison

It has been said in praise of some men, that they could take whole hours together upon anything; but it must be owned to the honor of the other sex that there are many among them who can talk whole hours together upon nothing. I have known a woman branch out into a long extempore dissertation on the edging of a petticoat, and chide her servant for breaking a china cup, in all the figures of rhetoric.

Joseph Addison

I have often reflected within myself on this unaccountable humor in womankind of being smitten with everything that is showy and superficial, and on the numberless evils that befall the sex from this light fantastical disposition.

Jonny Lee Miller

Vampires are immortal, you can do whatever you want, and get away with it. And there's the seduction part of course, sex is a big part of the vampire thing.

Jonny Greenwood

No, I am not interested in women or sex or anything.

Joni Mitchell

Sex sells everything and sex kills.

Kevin Smith

So often, over the course of our day-to-days, we forget the details of what shapes us most in life. Sure, we'll pay through the nose to have our weddings videotaped, but can we say the same thing about the first time we discovered masturbation, or the moment we realized that the true nature of the opposite sex is to lie and humiliate (and I'm not just talking about women here)? Usually not.

Kevin Smith

People always ask me if I hate the nuns. Do I make my movies extra dirty to piss them off? I always say no, that's not the point. To a Catholic, a movie is only dirty if it makes you want to have sex more. If it makes you feel sick, disgusted, ashamed of your own body, then it's not a dirty movie at all. It's a Catholic movie. And I make very Catholic movies.

Kevin Bacon

I think there is a puritanical wind that is blowing. I have never seen such a lack of separation between church and state in America, I don’t believe in God, but if I did I would say that sex is a Godgiven right. Otherwise it’s the end of our species.

Kevin Bacon

You have to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

Kenneth Cole

Those against same-sex marriage aren't thinking straight (or are they)?

Kellan Lutz

"You're a sex icon." Why? Because I played a vampire in a movie? It's all very unearned. If I had the best freaking abs in the world or if I looked like Brad Pitt does in Fight Club, then cool, but I'm not starving myself.

Kellan Lutz

It's funny when people say you have sex appeal or call you the next Brad Pitt. I just laugh. I'm not that. I don't want to be that.