Famous Quotes & Sayings

Chaka Khan

My mom took me to see Goldfinger. My mom took me to see To Sir, With Love.

Bob Sanders

I have no idea why my mom picked Bob, and I've never asked her. My name used to get slaughtered all the time by other people. I was 'Desmond' or 'Damon' or `Demon.' So Bob's cool.

Bob Saget

I love my mom! You can too for $12!

Bob Saget

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

Bob Saget

My dad's like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?

Bob Saget

My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.

Bob Saget

My mom just told me it's impossible to know what's going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.

Bill Maher

I was brought up Catholic and we show my mom, my mother, my sister and then I take pains to explain on camera, that there were years after that where I wasn't really religious. I certainly wasn't a Catholic anymore, but I still lived with some mythical man in my head. I didn't really put a name to a face, but I just knew that if I was in trouble or scared I would go, 'Oh God, please help me get out of this one.'

Louis C. K.

I didn't make any kind of grades in high school. My mother was a single mom, putting my three sisters through college, and I was such a bad student that I knew I had no right to take her money. But I loved being in classes and learning. I took in a huge amount of what I learned, but I had a feeling of always being behind and being in trouble.

Mark Cuban

If you think back to the first sporting event you went to, you don't remember the score, you don't remember a home run, you don't remember a dunk. You remember who you were with. Were you with your mom, your dad, your brother, on a date?

Brandy Norwood

I've always wanted to be a mom at 23, 24ish, ever since I was a little girl. I'm right on schedule.

Michael Novak

In God's eyes, there's not before and after. Every moment of time is simultaneous to God.

Bill Maher

The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.

Bill Watterson

Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them. Mom: I haven't seen them. Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!

Bill Watterson

Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said "Eat your peas." Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney's Mom never found out where he'd gone, Cause Barney didn't tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he'd been cruel

Bill Watterson

Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face!" "If mom and dad cared about me at all, they'd buy me some infra-red nighttime vision goggles.

Bill Watterson

Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

Bill Watterson

Calvin is hammering nails into coffee table. Mom: CALVIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE?!? Calvin: Is this some sort of trick question, or what?

Bill Watterson

Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.

Bill Watterson

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to... Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play! Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO! Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?

Bill Watterson

Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.” “That’s thoughtful of you.” "See, on the front it says, ‘Get Well Soon’ … and on the inside it says,’Because my bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love Calvin.’ Want to sign it?” “Sure, I’m hungry too

Bill Watterson

Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you're over here like this? Calvin:...I don't think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

Bill Watterson

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Birdy

It's quite hard to have your mom as a teacher - it's like, she's not necessarily a "real teacher" for me. But she'd always teach me to really hear the music, and develop my ear, and to try and hear the harmonics of the piano. That was the main thing.

Benji Madden

Don't worry mom . I am still a virgin.

Berenice Bejo

My parents were not pushy or anything like that. I think my mom was still expecting me to be an astronaut, but now she is very happy that I'm not doing that.

Bill Gates

My mom was on the United Way group that decides how to allocate the money and looks at all the different charities and makes the very hard decisions about where that pool of funds is going to go.

Bill Gates

My mom and my dad were both very sociable, meeting lots of interesting people.

Chazz Palminteri

My mom was Sicilian, my dad was Sicilian. Mom was a great cook, but all the women were.

Chaz Bono

What mom cares about most is that I'm happy, healthy and enjoying my life.

Chaz Bono

Deep down, my mom had long suspected I was gay... Much of her anger and hurt came from her sense of betrayal that she was the last to be told.

Chelsea Clinton

As a mom, what I found so disturbing were the things that were being said on a national stage - I mean, literally on the stage and off the stage, around the convention about women, about minorities, about Muslims, about immigrants.

Chelsea Clinton

That's not what I want my children to hear. That's not representative of the country that I want my children to grow up in. And so that actually I found far more upsetting as a mom, as a woman, as an American, and even as my mother's daughter than anything they said about my mom.