Famous Quotes & Sayings

Conan O'Brien

During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.

Conan O'Brien

San Francisco is the only city in America where marijuana is legal but plastic bags are not.

Conan O'Brien

Tough times for Martha Stewart. Yesterday, Martha Stewart reported to her parole officer and had to take a mandatory urine test for cocaine and marijuana. Martha was found to be drug-free and her urine was found to be a lovely yellow saffron.

Conan O'Brien

President Obama answered questions on YouTube today. He was asked 7,500 times about legalizing marijuana. And that was just from Chad in Portland.

Conan O'Brien

Obama was heckled by someone who said, 'Don't forget about medical marijuana.' The Secret Service has narrowed the suspects down to everyone in L.A.

Conan O'Brien

Medical marijuana users are now lobbying for the right to carry firearms. Because no one is a better shot than a stoned old man with glaucoma.

Conan O'Brien

Los Angeles residents are going to vote on a tax on anything sold in a medical marijuana dispensary. If the measure passes the city could be solvent within 45 minutes.

Conan O'Brien

Marijuana plants were found near bin Laden's compound, which explains why bin Laden's last words were, 'Dude... '

Conan O'Brien

A new report says that last year Colorado collected $44 million in marijuana taxes. Unfortunately, they can't remember where they put it.

E. W. Howe

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.

E. W. Howe

A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.

E. W. Howe

For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.

Dyan Cannon

I was going to go make a film in Greece. if they caught you with this much marijuana, they threw you in jail, no questions asked, and I was trying to stuff it in my deodorant bottles. I thought, what I am doing?

We should have walked Marty or pitched around him.

Alan Young

We had some marvelous outtakes, but the producer had destroyed them all.

Gabrielle Union

In Hollywood, marriages are kind of expected to fail.

Guy Spier

The trend of the market is up, not down. Shorting stocks puts you against that trend and thus makes it more difficult to make money.

Trying to break into the horror market seemed natural.

We've got this oversold market that can't find a reason to bounce.

With energy, materials and financials, you've got three quarters of the market chugging along. It's not the return of Nortel.

We have marketing power reach at our fingertips.

When we look at people who start out single, get married, and then get divorced, they look different than the people who start out single, get married, and stay married. Specifically, the ones who will stay married start out happier-than-average . . .

We will look at more offerings if there is market demand.

We want to work with the organizers and with the participants in the march to make sure it's a safe march.

Don Kelly

Two or more of the participants in the march -- young men -- had an argument,

It is the perennial youthfulness of mathematics itself which marks it off with a disconcerting immortality from the other sciences.

Edgar Bronfman, Sr.

My childhood was marked by a tension between privilege on the one hand and emotional dysfunction on the other.

Blake Shelton

I always make a joke that they transplanted Martina McBride's eyes and put them in my head.

Emraan Hashmi

I don't know which other actor has done as many hot scenes as I have. I pretty much have the monopoly in the bed scene market in Bollywood.

John Brunner

The real universe has a marvellous and unique quality, inasmuch as it and only it can take us completely by surprise.

There are no very significant indicators that the market is getting too expensive.

Adam Lambert

Right now, I'm not really thinking about marriage.

Bill O'Reilly

In prosperous times, the marginal workers get by. But in tough times, they get the shaft.