Quotes about god
god-bless-you god-bless librarian
To all librarians everywhere, God bless you. David Morrell
god humorous next
Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity. Dave Barry
god dirty kentucky
Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work. Dave Barry
god stupidity size
And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. Dave Barry
god stupidity gold
Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules. Dave Barry
god lines paper
Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations. Dave Barry
god jobs laughing
Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. Dave Barry
god people stupidity
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. Dave Barry
god writing stupidity
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Dave Barry
god ice stupidity
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. Dave Barry
god country stupidity
Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques. Dave Barry
god light stupidity
Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished? Dave Barry
god water stupidity
Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable. Dave Barry
god children turkeys
Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00 Dave Barry
god appreciate stupidity
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast. Dave Barry
god rocks stupidity
Too many rocks in the mountains. Dave Barry
god night feet
Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights. Dave Barry
god vacation stupidity
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold? Dave Barry
god stupidity way
A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call. Dave Barry
god numbers stupidity
Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness. Dave Barry
god hands people
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands. Dave Barry
god animal walking-sticks
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals. Dave Barry
god horse stupidity
Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse. Dave Barry
god stupidity needs
Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill. Dave Barry
god stupidity spiders
Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests. Dave Barry
god night animal
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals. Dave Barry
god years stupidity
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies. Dave Barry
god stupid abuse
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. Dave Barry
god swimming whales
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Dave Barry
god views stupidity
Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them. Dave Barry
god spiritual time
Our personal consumer choices have ecological, social, and spiritual consequences. It is time to re-examine some of our deeply held notions that underlie our lifestyles. David Suzuki
god science religion
How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, “This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant?” Instead they say, “No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.” A religion, old or new, that stressed the magnificence of the Universe as revealed by modern science might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence and awe hardly tapped by the conventional faiths. Carl Sagan
god spiritual philosophy
Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality. Carl Sagan