Famous Quotes & Sayings

Daniel Tosh

How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.

Daniel Tosh

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

Daniel Tosh

Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.

Dane Cook

You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.

Dane Cook

When I have a really hot date at a show, I definitely make it a point to use her name. The girls really love that.

Dane Cook

Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.

Dane Cook

You know what I'd like to be able to do more than anything else? I'd love to be able to shoot spaghetti out of my fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause no one wants to be covered in spaghetti. No. If I'm on a date with a girl and she's very rude, I'd be like, You know what? Pppptthhh! Enjoy your spaghetti, you're very rude. Enjoy your spaghetti, cause you're rude. Pppptthhh!

Dane Cook

If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.

Dane Cook

Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's very funny.

Dane Cook

Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.

Dane Cook

There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.

Dane Cook

I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.

Dane Cook

My favorite sexual position is when the girl is facing Mecca and I am fighting off a wolf.

Dane Cook

Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.

Dane Cook

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

Daley Thompson

Being a decathlete is like having ten girlfriends. You have to love them all, and you can't afford losing one.

Curtis Sittenfeld

It's never that hard for me to imagine what it must feel like to be someone else, whether it's an American teenage girl or a Japanese octogenarian man

Curtis Sittenfeld

When you are a high school girl, there is nothing more miraculous than a high school boy.

Cyndi Lauper

Men and women are different. I don't think men grow a brain until 26 or even 30. Girls mature a lot quicker.

Craig Brewer

That movie was my girlfriend. That was my girl." I knew there was going to be initial anger. As a matter of fact, when I was deciding to do Footloose that was one of the first things that I had to realize. First of all, I had to figure out a human connection to it but then I also had to reconcile that I was going to get beat up a little bit on this a little bit.

Craig Brewer

I was chubby and awkward, and the only way I could really meet girls was to join children's theater, so that's what I did.

Courtney Thorne-Smith

I thought, I hate the thought of a 12, 13 or 14 year-old girl seeing a picture of me and thinking she'll do what I did.

David Byrne

It's not music you would use to get a girl into bed. If anything, you're going to frighten her off.

David Lee Roth

Music videos are like girlfriends. I'm constantly amazed on what other people doing

David Levithan

You think fairy tales are only for girls? Here's a hint - ask yourself who wrote them. I assure you, it wasn't just the women. It's the great male fantasy - all it takes is one dance to know that she's the one. All it takes is the sound of her song from the tower, or a look at her sleeping face. And right away you know - this is the girl in your head, sleeping or dancing or singing in front of you. Yes, girls want their princes, but boys want their princesses just as much. And they don't want a very long courtships. They want to know immediately.

David Levithan

You like him because he's a lost boy. Believe me, I've seen it happen before. But do you know what happens to girls who love lost boys? They become lost themselves. Without fail.

David Levithan

Here’s what I know about the realm of possibility— it is always expanding, it is never what you think it is. Everything around us was once deemed impossible. From the airplane overhead to the phones in our pockets to the choir girl putting her arm around the metalhead. As hard as it is for us to see sometimes, we all exist within the realm of possibility. Most of the limits are of our own world’s devising. And yet, every day we each do so many things that were once impossible to us.

David Levithan

You see, Dash -- I was never the girl in your head. And you were never the boy in my head. I think we both knew that. It's only when we try to make the girl or boy in our head real that the true trouble comes. I did that with Carlos, and it was a bad failure. Be careful what you're doing, because no one is ever who you want them to be. And the less you really know them, the more likely you are to confuse them with the girl or boy in your head.

David Levithan

instead i head to the computer and it's like i turn into a little girl who's just seen her first rainbow. i get all giddy and nervous and hopeful and despairing and i tell myself not to look obsessively at my buddy list, but it might as well be projected onto the insides of my eyelids. at 8:05 his name pops up, and i start to count. i only get to twelve before his IM pops up.

David Levithan

You know what happens to girls who loves lost boys? They become lost themselves.

David Levithan

I know from experience that beneath every peripheral girl is a central truth. She’s hiding hers away, but at the same time she wants me to see it.

David Levithan

Pink is female - but why? Are girls any more pink than boys? Are boys any more blue than girls? It's something that has been sold to us, mostly so other things can be sold to us.

David Levithan

What a horrible feeling that is, to know that if the disease [AIDS] had primarily affected PTA presidents, or priests, or white teenage girls, the epidemic would have been ended years earlier, and tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of lives would have been saved.