Famous Quotes & Sayings

Steven Wright

I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."

Steven Wright

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Steven Wright

I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.

Steven Wright

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

Steven Wright

I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.

Steven R. McQueen

Whoever I hang out with, I want to be able to laugh with. I just want to be able to have a good time... And they have to like my dog. If they don't like my dog, they're out.

The airline business is crazy. I've not been enamored with the industry in general. You can't depend on anybody and anything. It's dog-eat-dog and one thing or another from one minute to the next. What I understand about it, I don't like what I see.

Toni Morrison

All she saw, down in the cellar well beneath the stoop, was a light yellow feather with a tip of green. And she had never named him. Had called him "my parrot" all these years. "My parrot." "Love you. "Love you." Did the dogs get him? Or did he get the message - that she said, "My parrot" and he said, "Love you," and she had never said it back or even taken the trouble to name him - and manage somehow to fly away on wings that had not soared for six years.

Tom T. Hall

Old dogs care about you, even when you make mistakes.

Thomas Keneally

Australia integrated the - brought on the ships and unleashed in the society the dogs of sectarianism, which had existed in other places - in Glasgow, in Liverpool and of course in Ireland, north and south.

Vilfredo Pareto

If you're Noah, and your ark is about to sink, look for the elephants first, because you can throw over a bunch of cats, dogs, squirrels, and everything else that is just a small animal and your ark will keep sinking. But if you can find one elephant to get overboard, you're in much better shape.

Viggo Mortensen

Some people who like dogs don't like cats, but I'm not like that.

Victoria Pratt

I desperately want a dog, but I've been told I travel too much, and I'm not allowed to have a dog.

Victor Hugo

For dogs we kings should have lions, and for cats, tigers. The great benefits a crown.

Victor Borge

What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.

Veronica Roth

It must be because you're so approachable", I say flatly. "You know, like a bed of nails." He stares at me, and I don't look away. He isn't a dog but the same rules apply. Looking away is submissive. Looking him in the eye is a challenge. It's my choice. Heat rushes into my cheeks. What will happen when this tension breaks? But he just says, "Careful, Tris.

Robert Fulghum

The name is not important anymore - it's the tone that counts. I feel like an old dog I know. He will come to any name you call him, just so long as your demeanor carries with it the promise of affection and food

Robert Fulghum

When my neighbor walks the dogs, he performs a ritual act of sacer simplicitas, to use the church Latin: "sacred simplicity." Walking the dog is in truth a ritual of renewal and revival on an intimate scale - a small rebirth of well-being on a daily basis.

Robert Fulghum

Arguing whether or not a God exists is like fleas arguing whether or not the dog exists. Arguing over the correct name for God is like fleas arguing over the name of the dog. And arguing over whose notion of God is correct is like fleas arguing over who owns the dog.

Robert Frost

"If it were a dog, it would have bitten you already." Actual Twents: "At e ne hond was, dan e oew allange ebettene." Meaning: Said to someone who is looking for something which is right under his nose. Source: Twents Woordenbook. Twents in Woord en Gebruik.

Robert Frost

The old dog barks backward without getting up I can remember when he was a pup.

Robert Benchley

There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.

Robert Benchley

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

Robert Benchley

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

Rita Rudner

Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Rita Rudner

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Rita Rudner

I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.

Rita Rudner

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

Rita Mae Brown

Cats and dogs believe politicians are like cemetery caregivers; they are on top of everyone, but nobody listens.

Rita Mae Brown

While cats can be infuriating, little old women in fur coats, they make me laugh. Of course, dogs, horses and my highly social chickens are dear to me, too.

Rita Mae Brown

Dad could charm a dog off a meat wagon.

Richard Wagner

That even in its sharpest pangs of pain a dog can still caress its master we have learnt from the studies of vivisectors.

Thomas Nashe

A traveller must have the back of an ass to bear all, a tongue like the tail of a dog to flatter all, the mouth of a hog to eat what is set before him, the ear of a merchant to hear all and say nothing.