Famous Quotes & Sayings

John Otway

Science tells you love is just a chemical reaction in the brain, Let me be your Bunsen burner baby, let me be your naked flame!

John Oliver

Iran is the middle child of the Axis of Evil. Iraq is the oldest child and gets the lion's share of the attention, and North Korea is the crazy baby.

John Calvin

There are babies a span long in hell.

John B. S. Haldane

Man armed with science is like a baby with a box of matches.

Joe Klein

For the past several years, I've been harboring a fantasy, a last political crusade for the baby-boom generation. We, who started on the path of righteousness, marching for civil rights and against the war in Vietnam, need to find an appropriately high-minded approach to life's exit ramp.

Joan Osborne

How long have you been sitting in the darkness? You forget. You know you're getting hard to be with and you're crying every time you turn around. Oh my crazy baby, try to hold on tight. Oh my crazy baby, don't put out the light. And your hands are shaking something awful as your worries crawl around inside your clothes.

Joan Rivers

my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.

Joan Rivers

Having a baby can be a scream.

Joan Rivers

Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.

Joan Rivers

Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm full of children. I think she got them at Costco.

Joan Rivers

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had the baby. He was there for the birth. It would've been nice if he was there for the conception.

Joan Rivers

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Joan Rivers

All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.

Joan Rivers

And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

Joan Rivers

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

Joan Rivers

That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.

Joan Rivers

When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.

Jimmy Fallon

I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named "Jihad." Or as the TSA put it, "Hope you like Amtrak!

Jimmy Fallon

When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can't sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.

Garry Shandling

Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.

Garrett Hardin

Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born.

Franklin Knight Lane

I have hardly seen my baby for six weeks; have been at the office from nine A.M. to eleven P.M. regularly.

Gayle Forman

This is myself, baby. All of my selves. I own each and every one of them. I know who I'm pretending to be and who I am." The look he gives me is withering. "Do you?

All the farmers brought their best this and their best that. They elected a beauty queen, and she reigned over the whole thing. They had a pretty baby contest, and that brought out a whole lot of people.

And as for the people that remained in the land of Judah, whom Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon had left, even over them he made Gedaliah the son of Ahikam, the son of Shaphan, ruler.

Eddie Griffin

90? 110? You know. It's a Ferrari, baby - you don't do 50 in a Ferrari.

Hoda Kotb

Life is a series of baby steps along the way and if you add up these tiny little steps you take toward your goal, whatever it is, whether it's giving up something, a terrible addiction or trying to work your way through an illness. When you total up those baby steps you'd be amazed over the course of 10 years, the strides you've taken.

Holly Madison

After becoming pregnant, I had to makeover my pantry just a little to make the proper adjustments to support the baby. I've found some staples that will stick around after the baby is here, too.

Holly Madison

But when you have a baby inside you, you're like 'Whoa!' Anything can happen here, I've got to give this baby all the nutrients it needs and really take care of myself, so this is definitely the healthiest I've ever been in my life.

Holly Black

Baby," she says in a harsh whisper, "in this world, lots of people will try to grind you down. They need you to be small so they can be big. You let them think whatever they want, but you make sure you get yours. You get yours.

Hermann Hesse

Words can not express the joy of new life.

Jordana Brewster

People spend so much time in their cars, and it's a legal way to have fun by speeding a little bit or testing yourself a little bit, and you get to invest in your car. For some people, it becomes their baby.

Joni Mitchell

Do you see how you hurt me, baby? So I hurt you too. Then we both get so blue. I am on a lonely road and I am traveling, looking for the key to set me free.