Famous Quotes & Sayings

Kurt Braunohler

I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place.

Baruch Spinoza

He who seeks equality between unequals seeks an absurdity.

Elfriede Jelinek

was made into an award-winning film, ''for her musical flow of voices and countervoices in novels and plays that with extraordinary linguistic zeal reveal the absurdity of society's cliches and their subjugating power.

T. J. Miller

Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Anne Lamott

When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again.

David Lynch

The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to.

David Lynch

Absurdity is what I like most in life.

Arthur Schopenhauer

There is no absurdity so obvious that it cannot be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to impose it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity

Peter Sarsgaard

I get so happy to see someone like Jodie descend into absurdity and be human.

Alan Ritchson

I didnt really grow up a comic book fanatic. I was a big baseball player, and my passion in life, in third grade, was collecting baseball cards. That was my childhood thing.

Al Pacino

I wanted to be a baseball player, naturally, but I wasn't good enough. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I just had a kind of energy, I was a fairly happy kid.

Chris Chambliss

If you're not having fun in baseball, you miss the point of everything.

Chris Berman

Back, back, back, back... Gone!

Chet Huntley

Here at NBC there is just one more reason to hate the Yankees.

David Price

I'm a very competitive person, whether it's school, baseball or even playing video games.

David Murphy

My goal on Earth is not to win a World Series or be the best baseball player who ever lived. That simply is not up to me because I have to wait and see if it is part of the Lord's plan. My goal is to follow the Lord and what he wants me to do so that someday I may enter His kingdom and receive everlasting life.

Buddy Bell

It's amazing what you can do in this game with a heart and a brain

Buddy Guy

I'm going through a divorce now. This is the second one, and like baseball, I'm not gonna get three strikes. I've been living by myself for five years and I'm very comfortable. I can play my guitar when I want to.

Tom Goodman-Hill

I can't explain something I saw on holiday on Holy Island when I was about nine years old, but do you know what, it could have been my PE teacher dressed in a monk's habit. I have no idea. I'm not a ghost person... it doesn't mean there aren't unexplained things; I just don't think they're ghosts.

Kate Reardon

As someone who works from home, my top style tip is to make sure you get dressed in the morning.

Thomas A. Edison

Most people don't recognize opportunity when it comes, because it's usually dressed in overalls and looks a lot like work.

Susan Mays

She was probably dressed that way during most of the first 10 years she lived here.

Victoria Osteen

It's no secret that in our society, and many before, people are trend followers. For some reason, they feel better about themselves if they are dressed in the latest fashion or have the newest tech gadget.

Luke Benward

One year, my family and I dressed up in the theme of 'Wizard of Oz' for Halloween. We all went as the different characters. I was the Tin Man!

Paula Abdul

You look phenomenal. You dressed the part. ... Your vocals were impeccable.

Charles Nelson Reilly

Everyone should have hair. When you get dressed up, you must do that last whip of hair spray, or life's not worth living.

Bob Parsons

You didn't have what we see today. There wasn't some guy out there dressed up like a farmer. No one ran around in a suit.

Alan Hansen

I always wanted to be a golfer, only I realised that if I'd played golf I would have been skint.

David Leadbetter

Is there such a thing as a technically perfect swing? If there is, I have yet to see it.

David Leadbetter

Your final goal is to convert your athletic swing to pure instinct rather than conscious thought.

Dave Barry

I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.

Dave Barry

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.

Dave Barry

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.

Dave Barry

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Dave Barry

Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

Buddy Hackett

Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.

Arne Glimcher

I've been told I'm a good midcareer manager.

Namie Amuro

I came back to do a live concert. Nobody had done that before and I know my managers were worried.

Ted Lindsay

The owners and managers were too stupid to realize we had brains.

Scott Cooley

He is one of the smartest managers around.

Donald McDonald

We've been trying to get applications out, but everything has been rejected because of his record. I would go with him to talk with some of these managers to just be a support for him.

Bill Lee

Most of the managers are lifetime .220 hitters. For years pitchers have been getting these managers out 75% of the time and that's why they don't like us.

Michael Bell

We've talked to a lot of students and property managers about this, and we're trying to sort out the pros and cons, ... A staunch position, yea or nay, can't be reached at this point.

Michael Carty

We're seeing a little turnaround, after so much negative news. It's also the end of the quarter, so portfolio managers need to do a little window dressing.

Jon Lester

Pitchers really don't deal with the managers a whole lot. When we come in the clubhouse, we see him, we say, 'Hey.' That's really it.

David Richardson

We stand ready to support any organization that shares Scout values.

Liane Balaban

I want to be an actor, and I am being an actor. I'm not ready to run off on a road trip. Yet.

Jeff Bambule

We have to get ready now for Plainfield South. They are another scrappy, tough team. We'll have to be ready.

Natalie Chanin

We have so many reasons to be here tonight. I'm also ready to do some shopping!

Charles de Lint

If you're not ready to die, then how can you live?

Charlaine Harris

I was embarrased, horrified and absolutely ready to jump him!

Mariano Rivera

Tomorrow? We have to go there and do it, ... Don't worry, I'll be ready for tomorrow.

Cliff Lusk

We're sitting there on go, ready to respond if we have to.

Larry Southard

We're sitting on a ticking time bomb. This town is ready to ignite.

Alan Bennett

Sometimes there is no next time, no time-outs, no second chances. Sometimes it’s now or never.

Al Sharpton

We're not willing to give black leaders second chances because, in most cases, we're not willing to give them first chances.

Al Jourgensen

It certainly is gravy every day above ground right now, after kicking that heroin habit. I've been given a second chance in life, and I don't want to let a minute go by without enjoying it.

Al Jarreau

I really do see it as the start of the second half of my career.

Chet Williamson

Publishers love to compartmentalize, and Second Chance was not an easy novel to define.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

There are no second chances in life, except to feel remorse.

Bertrand Russell

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the second chance were offered me.

Nick Whaley

We were better in the second game, so it's disappointing that we didn't play more relaxed.

Charles Rangel

I am a firm believer that upon release, ex-offenders should be afforded a second chance to become productive citizens by providing rehabilitation and education that will help them join the workforce.

Bob Demesy

We have raced all over, and there's nothing worse for spectators than standing around waiting for the races. We keep them going.

Tim Crouch

'The Author' is a play about responsibility, how active we are as spectators and how responsible we are for what we choose to look at.

Joe Beasley

The only thing I can say is that spectators need to stay off the field,

John Jones

We get participants and spectators from all over the world.

Mary Wollstonecraft

Life cannot be seen by an unmoved spectator.

Tim Cole

This is a place where we talk with each other on Sunday mornings. We are not just spectators and performers.

Marcel Duchamp

It is the spectators who make the pictures.

Camille Paglia

The piddling ignoramuses who deny that there is a distinct, discernible, objective western tradition are just woozy literati.

Edith Wharton

traditions that have lost their meaning are the hardest of all to destroy.

Carlos Fuentes

There is no creation without tradition. No one creates from nothing.

Charles Rosen

The death of classical music is perhaps its oldest continuing tradition.

Boozoo Chavis

I keep up the tradition, the zydeco.

Auguste Comte

The dead govern the living.

Allan Bloom

As soon as tradition has come to be recognized as tradition, it is dead.

Edmund Burke

Custom reconciles us to everything.

Anthony Daniels

It is hard to oppose an ideology with a tradition.

Benjamin Franklin

Taxes on consumption, like those on capital or income, to be just, must be uniform.

Adam Smith

Masters are always and everywhere in a sort of tacit, but constant and uniform combination, not to raise the wages of labor.

Eric Dickerson

Them sportswriters don't even know how to put uniforms on, most of 'em.

Henry Mancini

If you want to make money in music, get into the band uniform business.

George W. Bush

We live in freedom because every generation has produced patriots willing to serve a cause greater than themselves. Those who serve nowadays are taking their rightful place among the greatest generations that have worn our nation's uniform.

Jack L. Chalker

You can’t be a non-conformist if you don’t wear the proper uniform.

George Lopez

A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund.

Pete Rose

Am I still in uniform? Then I ain't retired.

Lorrie Fair

Michael Jordan always wore his Carolina shorts under his Bulls' uniform.

Charles Stross

I'm wearing black leggings and a loose top festooned with a Menger sponge of empty pockets stitched out of smaller pockets and smaller still, almost down to the limits of visibility woven in freefall by hordes of tiny otaku spiders, I'm told, their genes programmed by an obsessive-compulsive sartorial topologist.

Diana DeGarmo

If you see me, I'm always wearing black and pink. If I don't have it on, I at least have something that's black and pink. For instance, like, a bracelet or something.

Carolina Herrera

When you're wearing something you feel comfortable in, you move better. That's why the most important accessory you can have is a full-length mirror.

Laura Marano

I'm kind of obsessed with wedges, but I go to a regular high school, so I'm not going to be wearing Vera Wang there.

Coco Chanel

When I find a colour darker than black, I'll wear it. But until then, I'm wearing black!

Scott Peterson

She was wearing her seatbelt but it wouldn't have made any difference, ... She was killed instantly.

Leon Max

Everything is always grungy in England, no? It's like a little shibboleth of the upper class, wearing something out of your grandfather's trunk.

Luke Evans

A watch is a fashion statement, and it says something about the person wearing it.

Harry Graf Kessler

I am utterly, consummately intense, wearing sunflowers and poppies and dahlias in my buttonhole.

Alan Moore

Now everything is wonderful and hazardous and nothing's hypothetical.

Alan Alda

I'm in this wonderful position where I can do what interests me. And whatever comes along that interests me, I do. The rest of the time I bother scientists about communicating.

Casey Stengel

It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.

Astrid Lindgren

Don't let them get you down. Be cheeky. And wild. And wonderful.

Bill Nye

When or if answers are found, you can be assured those answers will lead to more questions. Is the troubling or wonderful? It depends on your view of your place in nature, your place among the stars; I suppose.

Cheryl Strayed

Every time I read Erin Belieu work I'm pierced in that wonderful way poetry can.

Bing Crosby

You'll never be a wonderful woman or even a wonderful human being until you learn to have some regard for human frailty.

Bill Monroe

Bluegrass is wonderful music. I'm glad I originated it.

Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala

I'm told I'm like my father, and he was the most wonderful man. But I think he was gentler than me.